Welcome to Psychotic Readings — an advice column endorsed by absolutely no qualified professionals.
Want to know if the voices are real, or is it just your Wi-Fi acting up again? Wondering if keying his car was enough, or if it's time to go full scorched earth? Are the meds working, or are they working against you?
Got a burning question, emotional crisis, or strange vision you need interpreted by a total stranger with no credentials? You’re in the right place. Submit your question below and receive unfiltered wisdom from a higher (possibly unstable) power. No topic is off-limits. Yes, even that one. Embrace the madness.
No email needed. No names. No strings attached.
Check back within 72 hours for your divine intervention.
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DISCLAIMER: Psychotic Readings is a satirical advice column, purely for entertainment purposes and should not replace or be mistaken for therapy, psychiatric support, or spiritual guidance. If you find yourself dramatically changing your life based on something written here, maybe take a moment, breathe deeply, touch some grass. Or don’t. We can’t stop you.